Nerves

P is staying with us until Saturday. They got top surgery today, and have been pretty lackluster. I remember when I had mine done I felt so full of energy and vital and sparkling. It’s confusing to me that they’re so underwhelmed—I guess it’s the pain meds. My confusion also undoubtedly stems from feeling unprepared: their surgeon didn’t give them drains bc of their BMI, and also did lipo on their underarms, so their recovery so far looks massively different from what I had done. Their left underarm is super bruised and swollen and still bleeding a little, which makes me feel helpless and kind of nervous. They’re taking Vicodin for the pain, and will call the doctor tomorrow to ensure that there’s nothing wrong. It seems like this is pretty par for the course with liposuction, but it’s still pretty gruesome to look at.

I wish they would have told more people that they were doing this, because some of the things that meant the most to me while I was recovering were the letters our friends sent me to the Airbnb in Sunshine. Even looking at them now makes me feel so charged and loved. I’m trying to help P feel that way, to make their recovery sacred and special. But they’re worried, and probably too isolated from the people who know how to make them feel better. Maybe it’d be different if they had closer friends here. Wax and I will just try to do the best we can. He was a champion today, driving us to and from the hospital and waiting (and working!) for hours in the hot car while I waited in the hospital for P. I love him so much.

On a different note entirely, I started using a new hair cream a few days ago, Not Your Mother’s curl cream. It smells like grapes and makes my hair super shiny. I’ve been experimenting with finger twirling for clumps, though it makes my curls have a less organic look.